Lana Del Rey's American Vision

As some of you who follow the Shennantics blog may know, I have a bit of morbid curiosity with hype machine, hipster runoff.com poster girl, Lana Del Rey. Apparently, I'm not the only one. Del Rey's latest album "Born to Die," was released to a mix bag of critical reviews and many thought her 15 minutes of flashes in the pan were over.

Well, it's easy to dislike Del Rey. She doesn't seem very excited to sing live and her nerves are visible during her performances. Plus, she seems to sing as if she's taken far too many sedatives and either her or her wonky PR people laudibly named her "The Gangster Nancy Sinatra," which doesn't make any sense when we all know that the real Nancy Sinatra was indeed very much so a gangster.

All that aside, the Lana Del Rey machine continues to intrigue. And why? Most of us lament, who is this person? why do I care?

A wealth of industrial grade analysis exists about Del Rey. Search the web and its plentiful, everyone has an opinion, even Liz Phair. Phair wrote that Del Rey scares the "boy club" of indie-rock music and politics calling into question all the gender play and sexism involved (most of this deals with Del Rey's bee stung lips and conventional beauty) when people launch into discussions about Lana Del Rey.

And before I launch into that discussion, I bit the bullet. I listened to "Born To Die," thinking it was going to be abysmal. I wanted it to be terrible so I could get on with this monkey business.

To my surprise, I loved "Born to Die."

It was really in a way something I had not expected to hear. In my own reading of Del Rey, I imagine that it is indeed a concept album. A letter to literary tropes, cliches, feminine ideals and the love of a time gone. All this was in this album and naturally all of Del Rey's artistic shortcomings.

"Born to Die," is heavy on soundscape. It's heavy on strings, lush arrangement, sparse piano keys and heavy like lead drops. The title track is a cut and paste of dusty country singing, hip hop beats and music designed for a score.

The rest of the album plays out the same. Del Rey dips into her handbook of suggested ideas, like prostitutes on the dark and yet wacky "Off to the Races," in which she pouts and sings about a sugar daddy who keeps her living the good life. In "Carmen," she warns about the trappings of such a life over a gorgeous piece of music specifically designed to be heavy and emotive. Elsewhere on the album she's singing about 'heart shaped glasses,' 'pabst blue ribbon on ice,' and the 'national anthem.' The album is rife with allusions to Vladamir Nabokov's literary masterpiece "Lolita."

I won't spoil "Lolita" for those who have not read it, but it is indeed a tragedy, a very well written tragedy.Del Rey stumbles over herself in ambition to create the same sense of foreboding and richly layered subtext. However it is exactly this point that no one is giving her credit for. Simply put, the shortcomings of "Born to Die" are indeed clunky, but the ambition isn't. Del Rey wrote an album, which is a bit refreshing today when everyone is releasing singles. A fan of literary allusions and myths when I see one, I gravitated towards "Born to Die," because finally a woman had written something so unabashedly ambitious and yes, dark and gloomy.

To prod deeper, like many pieces of literature, the blankness in the album is maybe a bit too much fun for audiences, critics and haters alike to reach into.

Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill show the Academy how it's done

Every year that I morbidly watch the Oscars, I always wish someone would call out the things we're all thinking at home. It never happens, of course. The bland host makes a few "risque" shots at the other rich people in the room, much gafaw-ing, and more teleprompter reading.

..........

Sorry, I nodded off.

To my amusement, I ended up watching the Independent Spirit Awards Feb. 25, hosted by Seth Rogen. And if the goal of the rich old white men running the Academy is to bring in young people, the Spirit Awards are a lesson in candid humor.

The high-quality laughs and shots at award season started with Rogen's relentless monologue, making Ricky Gervais look like Bob Hope. Rogen threw hard punches at most of Hollywood, landing almost all of them. Some of the best landed on Mel Gibson, Bret Ratner and Chris Brown who received the best punchline.

"At the Grammys," Rogen observed, "you can literally beat the shit out of a nominee and be asked to perform twice!"

Like it or not, that's good comedy. Good luck, Billy Crystal. Make sure your hearing aid and Depends are a go.

Even the banter of some of the presenters was more entertaining than recent Oscar hosts. Jonah Hill and Kirsten Dunst got great laughs when Jonah Hill nearly took out the microphone with the wave of a hand.

Also at the Spirit awards, you'll see some kudos to films whose titles haven't been heard 40,000 times in the last month. While "The Artist" did clean up Best Film, Best Male Lead, Best Director and Best Cinematography, other notables included Michelle Williams (Best Female Lead, "My Week With Marilyn"), Will Reiser (Best First Screenplay, "50/50") and Shailene Woodley (Best Supporting Female, "The Descendants").

So, Oscar producers? Looking for a way to pump some youth, humor and ratings into your show without watching James Franco and Anne Hathaway freeze the room? Class is in session.

Academy Awards live blog

Best of 2011: Steph's No. 1 movie

By now it's probably not a big secret what my best movie of 2011 is, however first let's recap the list.

10. "Larry Crowne"
9. "Paul"
8. "In Time"
7. "Bridesmaids"
6. "The Muppets"
5. "Captain America: The First Avenger"
4. "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol"
3. "The Artist"
2. "The Descendants"

1. "The Help" - No movie touched me more and effected me on a personal level more than "The Help." I remember seeing this film on its opening day and telling Tim that the film, Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer would all get Oscar nominations. In actuality I think I was already engraving Davis' name on her statue.

Her performance was so raw and real, you felt Abilene's pain and pride. It was a role that you could imagine no one else in. Davis gave us everything.

Spencer was equally powerful in what will no doubt become the role of a lifetime for her. Minnie could have easily been a caricature, but Spencer gave her such depth that she became much more than the showiness of the character.

In a cast that included Emma Stone, Bryce Dallas Howard, Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain, Alison Janney, Sissy Spacek and Cecily Tyson there was not a single misstep.

The actors and directors had to walk such a cultural tightrope to tell this story and they did so respectfully and beautifully.

For black women, this is a part of our history that's always there, but never talked about. "The Help" not only told that story, it told it with class.

'Walking Dead' news! The Governor's coming to town!

"The Walking Dead" has been one of the most compelling shows on television over the last two years. And how could it not be? Character-heavy, post-apocolyptic zombie-war on the same network as "Mad Men" and "Breaking Bad." It's tailor-made for comic book nerds and horror fans to swoon over.

"But," says Me Of Two Years Ago, "how far can they take this? How much of a story is there really too be had without treading the same waters that have been treaded for 60 years?"

"You sad fool," says Me Of Today, "You have no idea the hell that's coming."

POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW

All fans of the "Walking Dead" comic series knows that the TV show is setting up for the brutalist of storylines: THE GOVERNOR.

Here's a mix of what is known from the comics and how I see it going down:

So Randall is the timebomb for the whole setup: Rick saves him from the Walkers and, not knowing who he is or where he comes from, takes him to the farm for medical attention.

Turns out Randall is from WOODBURY, the brutal, gladiator-esque home for humans. Woodbury is ruled by The Governor, a man whose charm is only matched by his soul-less acts of torture.

Of course, The Governor is going to want to see this farm when Randall gets free and alerts them, which will lead to the Rick that comes along in the comics: the shaken, desperate and animalistic survivor.

It's been announced that David Morrisey of British fame will play the ruler of Woodbury, but the question of what kind of Governor he will be is up in the air.

If the show stays true to the comic, we could see some gut-wrenching scenes of torture, decapitation and truly weird zombie-love.

Knowing how the television world works, there may be some clever and tasteful omissions on the part pf the show runners.

Let's say for now that the truth of the show's third season will rest on the addition of Michonne, the mysterious, sword-weilding queen of badassery who takes on The Governor like a sushi chef a couple times. (Notice that eye-patch above? That's a preview.)

If she is not added in, we'll know the show will try to ease through the story arc without getting cancelled. On the other hand, if Michonne comes out of the forest swinging near the end of this season, hang on to your sheriff's hats; it's gonna be a wild ride.

Best of 2011: 3 and 2 (Steph)

We're almost at the finish line of the best movies of 2011. Today it's Nos. 3 and 2.

3. "The Artist" - As a fan of the classics, this film was such a revelation. From the amazing score to the sensational performances, watching "The Artist" was like going back in time to when movies were just meant to be a fun time at the theater. Jean Dujardin's classic leading man looks helped sell him as the fading star, while Berenice Bejo was charming as the star on the rise. It's hard to come up with something new nowadays, so the decision to go back to the classic was really inspired.

2. "The Descendants" - Tim described very eloquently how George Clooney put on a masterclass of acting in this film. What he does here is create a character that instantly draws the audience in and keeps them 100 percent invested until the minute the credits roll. While the movie is absolutely great, it's hard to imagine anyone else picking this film up on his shoulders and making every second work the way he does.

As fantastic as Clooney is, he would have nothing without the beautifully balanced script. It moves so perfectly from heartbreak to hilarity, that it is also a masterclass in storytelling. Sometimes it just takes the right marriage of actor and script to create a one of a kind special movie.

And now it's on to No. 1...

Best of 2011: Nos. 2 & 1 (Tim)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 2 and 1.

First let's recap the list:

10. "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"
9. "We Bought a Zoo"
8. "The Adventures of Tintin"
7. "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol"
6. "Thor"
5. "Captain America"
4. "The Descendants"
3. "Super 8"

2. "Limitless"

This film literally came out of nowhere. I had no clue it was even a movie until I saw the trailer for the first time.

And it kicked my ass. In a good way.

I was not expecting what my eyes saw. I was genuinely surprised and excited in almost every second of this movie.

And it goes everywhere from romance, to comedy, to drama, action and even a bit of horror (oh, God that one scene near the end...). Neil Burger, who directed "The Illusionist" did a fantastic job. Especially with the visuals of what the drug does visually. There's a rumor he's directing the "Uncharted" movie. AWESOME.

I've always known Bradley Cooper was awesome. Remember "Alias?" He's the perfect leading man here who goes from total loser to probably the most amazing man in the world.

1. "The Muppets"

Yes, No. 1. Deal with it.

I really went back and forth between this and "Limitless." But, listening to the soundtrack made me sure that "The Muppets" was the best movie of the year.

Like Stephanie said, just listen to "Pictures in My Head." I dare you not to get emotional.



Everyone can relate to that song. We all have had friends that we haven't talked with in years. And sometimes you don't know the reason why.

So many great moments in this film. Funny, sad, romantic and cute. I went to my first viewing with a few co-workers and we were all laughing throughout. And then spent a good 20 minutes outside of the theater talking about it.

Isn't that what going to the movies is all about?

And months later I'm still quoting lines (seriously, if me or my co-worker gets upset the first words out of our mouths is "In... Control..."). I'm even listening to the soundtrack again as I type this.

Best of 2011: Nos. 2 & 1 (Dan)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 2 and 1.

First let's recap the list:

10. "Horrible Bosses"
9. "Rango"
8. "Super 8"
7. "Incidious"
6. "Attack the Block"
5. "Moneyball"
4. "50/50"
3. "Ides of March"

2. "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"

If not for the out-of-left-field dark horse "Red State," "Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" is the best and most Oscar-worthy film of 2011.

Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) is an aggressively introverted computer genius who joins journalist Mikail Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) on a mysterious adventure into a rich families nightmarish past in order to solve a case of a missing girl. In the process, you get the kind of visuals and slow but satisfying pacing that only director David Fincher could deliver.

Imagine this is the next Bond movie, but instead of half-baked villains and muddling around for some action sequences, the writer pours their heart into their work, filling it with detail (for better or worse) and horror at times.

(By the way, make sure you know the lyrics to Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" before you see this. You'll want to see the opening sequence a dozen times.)

1. "Red State"

When Kevin Smith announced he was pretty much done with the film scene and was going to take a shot at a horror flick, my ears perked up. As a horror savant, the idea of Smith's attitude brought to a thriller was intriguing. Over the months, as everything he did regarding the film was documented, reviewed and passed around via word of mouth, the initial novelty wore off.

By October, when the film finally made it to a semi-wide release, I went into the film expecting just another film.

Then my mind was melted by unrelenting terror, uncomfortable characters, and a tour de force by Smith that is my No. 1 of the year with a bullet.

Three high school students (a centerpiece for Smith's comedies) go out to the country for a hook-up with a mysterious woman. In a twenty-four hour period, hell breaks loose for not only the teens, but for terrorists and the lawmen who fight them. And on a meta level, God vs. Logic is the core of the film. The movie is glossed with slick storytelling and two Oscar-level monologues delivered by Michael Parks (the morose bigot Abin Cooper) and John Goodman (FBI lead and only man with a conscience Joseph Keenan.)

If you're a fan of action movies, horror movies or just solidly written films, "Red State" is a must see.

(AFTER-THE-FACT NOTE: I just saw "Red State" is bolstering a 48 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. I was honestly shocked. Then I realized it was due to critics expecting Smith to just try to push buttons. Of course they left underwhelmed; they wanted a controversy and got a smart film!)

Best of 2011: 6, 5 & 4 (Steph)

After a few days off I'm back with Nos. 6-4 of my top 10 movies of 2011 list.


6. "The Muppets" - America had long been waiting for The Muppets to return to the big screen. Luckily Jason Segal gave our childhood heroes the movie they so richly deserved. In an art imitates reality twist, The Muppets have disbanded because they're not that popular anymore. However, superfan (and new Muppet) Walter helps get the gang back together for a telethon and it's everything fans had been waiting a lifetime for.

While the film is a funny, family friendly musical, it is also extremely poignant in places. None more so than Kermit singing "Pictures in my Head." What helped this movie more than anything else was Segal and all the other human participants clear love and respect for the history of The Muppets and how that translated to the screen. I dare you not to tear up during "Rainbow Connection."

5. "Captain America: The First Avenger" - Captain America has always been one of the most popular heroes ever, but his sincerity and the time period of his adventures made a movie adaptation a question mark. The most obvious problem, who could exude Cap's patriotism and earnestness. Chris Evans, who was previously Johnny Storm, turned out to be perfect casting. It was his longing to serve his country when everyone kept telling him no that made him a real hero.

Outside of Evans' great performance, the film was beautifully shot. It somehow blended modern effects with a classic style and look. Add in Hugo Weaving as Red Skull and a fantastic ending that set up "The Avengers" perfectly and this was far and away the best comic book movie of the year.

4. "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol" - Tim already discussed how truly spectacular the Dubai high rise sequence was, but what got this movie into the top five was how top to bottom good the film was. Everything worked from Tom Cruise's return as Ethan Hunt to Jeremy Renner's introduction to Simon Pegg in the field. Every second of the movie something good was happening. And in IMAX, wow, it was breathtaking.

Up next Nos. 2 and 3.

Best of 2011: Nos. 4 & 3 (Tim)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 6 and 5.

4. "The Descendants"

OK, I broke our own rules here. There is an Oscars film on my list.

But, it's on here because the hype is real. This is a freaking good movie. You know how I tell people how awesome this is? I tell them that Matthew Lillard is really good in this movie. Seriously.

Clooney should, but probably won't, win the Oscar for Best Actor for this. We talk sometimes about how actors put on a class onscreen. Clooney, with this film, teaches a masterfully powerful class on how to act.

And the rest of the cast is great too. Everyone from the young daughter to Judty Greer is perfectly cast and holds their own. The big surprise? Shailene Woodley.

Yes, the girl from the ABC Family show "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." Going in I wasn't expecting much from her. But she blew me away.

And it should be a crime that she wasn't nominated for an Oscar for this role. In an Academy Awards year where there is plently to complain about, her snub is at the top of the film.

The script is perhaps the best script of any film this year. It blended the heartbreak and comedy like walking on a tightrope without swaying too far on either side. And the best part? It was co-written by Jim Rash, who plays Dean Pelton on "Community."

Dean Pelton is going to win an Oscar. That is reason enough to watch the show.

If there were any justice in the world, it would win more than just that.

3. "Super 8"

One of the few films Dan and I agree on.

JJ Abrams has a free pass in my book thanks to "Alias" and "Star Trek," so I would have seen this regardless.

I loved, loved how they kept the secret of what the alien looked like. Even if there were spoilers, I avoided them. I wanted to remember what it was like before everything was spoiled by the Internet.

This entire movie was just that, a welcome, unspoiled surprise.

It also reminded me of a time where kids kicked ass. Like "The Goonies" or "Monster Squad." Kids didn't need parents to save them. They walked right up and kicked Wolfman in the nards. I'm old school.

And that train crash scene? Holy crap, possibly the best effects of the year (looking at you Visual Effects category). And you totally need to stay through the credits to see the Super 8 film the kids actually shot. I was laughing my ass off through the entire thing.

Best of 2011: Nos. 4 & 3 (Dan)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 4 and 3.

4. "50/50"

Another gut-wrechingly ignored film in Oscar season this year is "50/50," a beautiful and hilarious story of a young man who is diagnosed with cancer and struggles to deal with life when things start unraveling. Joseph Gordon Levitt (who has never been a part of a bad film, to the best of my knowledge) plays the lead character and the perfect straight man to Seth Rogen's bumbling, borderline man child Kyle.

Based on the true story of screenwriter Will Reiser's struggle in his 20s, "50/50" is a dry walk through coming to terms with death, and prioritizing along the way.

Not only will this movie make you laugh about cancer, the last 15 minutes will make you cry like you're watching "Field of Dreams." (It's a part of man-law: you can always tear up at "Field of Dreams," and now this movie is on that list.)

3. "Ides Of March"

What seemed at first as a desperate attempt to get some fanfare (the list of stars in this movie is longer than this blog post. Maybe.), "The Ides Of March" was actually on par with what expectations were raised to.

Ryan Gosling, who is slowly making a name for himself as a legitimate actor in this post-"Notebook" world, plays a budding political campaign manager. He's full of ideals, believes that good can be done in politics andd is willing to put his back into making it happen.

Sounds pretty naiive, right polito-cynics? Well, right you are. Slowly, things begin to unravel  in a seemingly simple primary race, and Stephen (Gosling) is slowly sunk into a game of lies, deception and immorality that will either break him or make him one of the monsters he hopes to defeat.

The films name is extremely apt in that the story plays out on a nearly Shakespearean level. Powerful characters are crafted with ease and made to fall. Also Shakespearean is the full weight of acting greats that play in the film. Of course there's Gosling, George Clooney and Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but there's also Marisa Tomei and the criminally underestimated Paul Giamatti and Jeffrey Wright.

The film plays out as a political nightmare for our hero, leading to a series of  well done twists and turns that leave you feeling like you are flying through the rings of political hell.

Best of 2011: Nos. 6 & 5 (Tim)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 6 and 5.

6. "Thor"

Numbers six and five were very close. In fact, they switched a couple of times. Even right down to when I typed this out.

"Thor" was a movie I was slightly unsure of. I was never a huge fan of the character, but I'm a Marvel geek so I was going to see it no matter what.

And you know what? It's a really good movie. Kenneth Branagh was the perfect person to direct this film due to his Shakespeare background. But, he also amazed me with his aptitude for special effects.

The film also had one of the best casts of any film in 2011. Chris Hemsworth, while somewhat unknown at the time, felt like he was born to play the role. And people like Rene Russo, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, Kat Dennings, Natalie Portman, Idris Elba and Tom Hiddleston all were standouts.

Especially Elba and Hiddleston. You know a movie is good when you walk out of it and are talking about how good the supporting cast was.

An added bonus, we got to see a tiny bit of Hawkeye.

5. "Captain America"

Was it the amazing "Avengers" footage at the end of the film that pushed this past "Thor?" Perhaps. But, the strong story also helped.

Origin stories are sometimes hard to get past because there is just so much background to get through. But, this background only made me like the character more.

Iron Man and Thor are harder to relate to because of their origins. But, Captain America was an everyday Joe. People get that.

The film also had great effects and a pretty awesome performance by Tommy Lee Jones. Well, that, and Nick Fury showing up at the end too.

Best of 2011: Nos. 6 & 5 (Dan)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 6 and 5.

6. "Attack The Block"

We live in an age where once something fresh is done, it's over, films like "Attack The Block" remind us that a developed style has more depth than we realize.

"Attack The Block" follows South London punks from a mugging to an action-packed fight against some straight up cool looking aliens.

The film is in the vein of "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" in it's visceral nature and a bit like "Shaun Of The Dead" in it's cheeky British demeanor, but "Attack the Block" is it's own animal. It's young, it's dark, it's beautifully gritty and amazingly unapologetic.

Don't expect a lot of redemption value from your heroes, but expect them to fight for their block.

5. "Moneyball"

The only film on my list to receive critical acclaim (deservedly so) is "Moneyball." Another true story about Oakland A's General Manager Billy Beane and his attempt to discover a way to keep up with richer teams in Major League Baseball.

His big chance comes when he meets Peter Brand and develops a system to find players who may not be stars, but have the mathematical numbers to piece together wins.

The biggest negative comments I've heard about this movie are that people aren't into baseball.

Well, good news! This movie is not about baseball. Yes, one of the main elements in the movie revolves around a baseball team. But it's not so much about the players as it is the men who are the players. It's a story of people who are devalued and have accepted their fate to being small time players. More importantly, it's a movie about faith in your fellow man and that everyone has the potential to be something amazing.

In a time when a lot of people are disenfranchised, what could be better than a film about second chances, centering around the game America created? "Moneyball" is a fun, interesting and sentimental ride that you'd have to be heartless not to enjoy.

Best of 2011: Nos. 8 & 7 (Tim)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 8 and 7.

8. "The Adventures of Tintin"

Yes, it was even a shock to me. For months leading up to the release of the film I kept saying how I wasn't interested. Then Christmas happened.

I had seen every other film I wanted to already. My entire family went to the movies so I had three choices: "New Years Eve," "Hugo" or "Tintin."

I made the best choice ever.

First off, the film is beautiful. My jaw was literally on the floor seeing how gorgeous every frame of this film was.

I'm usually not a fan of motion capture, but Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson made a believer out of me. And the 3-D wasn't even annoying!

If it's still playing at a theater anywhere near you, stop whatever you're doing and see it. You can even take kids to it.

There is one part of the film, near the end, that takes place on a pirate ship. That scene, probably less than 10 minutes total, was better than the last two "Pirates of the Caribbean" films combined.

Thankfully it caught on overseas and made a ton of money so a sequel is in the works.

7. "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol"

Another film I wasn't too much thought into. I knew it would be at least "good," but this film kicked me in the gut and made me apologize.

Brad Bird, known for his animated film work, knocked it out the park with his live action debut. Everything about this movie works; the effects, acting, chemistry, plot... everything.

It's a nail biter, edge of your seat thriller. And that skyscraper scene? Holy crap. If you see that film and don't give Tom Cruise a bit of respect after that, there is something wrong with you. He totally earned a free pass in my book for not only that scene, but the entire movie.

Is it a coincidence that both of these movies starred Simon Pegg? I think not, he rocks. And I think you can totally expect to see my No. 7 movie appear a lot higher on Stephanie's list.

Best of 2011: Nos. 8 & 7 (Dan)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 8 and 7.

8. "Super 8"

No, it was just coincidence.

"E.T." and "Goonies." If you're an American between 15 and 30, you've seen these movies and they are a part of your upbringing. These movies taught you that you and your friends can be bold. you can adventure, you can hunt treasure or just ride your bikes around town like bad asses.

Where did those movies go?

Well, "Super 8" is a solid throwback to those films. A group of kids work on a home movie (shot on a SUPER 8 camcorder)and stumble onto an alien conspiracy that leads to some great (I just refer to it as JJ Abrams level these days) storytelling.

It should be a crime that the weekend this came out we didn't see preteens put down their Justin Bieber (Bieber? Beeber? I don't care...) to go rock some movie making.

7. "Insidious"

Much like "Red State," "Insidious" gets big points for classy shock value. The opening scene of the film alone says "Hello, I look like some things you've seen. But I hope you're prepared for a ride!"

The Lambert family just moved into a new house expecting the perfect family life. Not so much.

The film will take you through some of the horror punches and rolls, but they will not just feed you the scares and send you packing. You're getting ghosts, demons, dreams, spooky pictures, opening doors, whispering voices, and one of the creepiest (or funniest) songs you'll ever hear.

Don't have the time to go to a theme park for a little fun? Take a ride through this ghost house flick instead and you'll get more bang for your buck.

Best of 2011: Nos. 8 & 7 (Stephanie)

My countdown of the best movies of 2011 continues with Nos. 8 and 7.


8. "In Time" - I know I'm going to get a lot of flak for this choice, but I really enjoyed this movie. The original story of time being the new currency and the idea that the rich lived forever, while the poor had no way out of their circumstances really resonated. Justin Timberlake was great as the leading man hero and it was a genuinely interesting movie. I would also add that every person I recommended this film to, loved it.

7. "Bridesmaids" - Plenty has been said about Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig (all deserved by the way) but what makes the movie work so well is the chemistry when all the ladies are on screen together. Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Ellie Kemper, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Wiig and McCarthy let the world in on the secret torture and ridiculous fun that goes along with being a bridesmaid. The really scary thing is how much of this movie is 100 percent true.

Best movies of 2011: Nos. 10 & 9 (Tim)

Editor's note: To coincide with the Oscars on Sunday the Inscaped staff are posting their lists of the best movies of 2011.

Unlike other best of lists you won't see a bunch of pretentious movies you've never heard of. We like to focus on films that the general public actually sees. With that in mind get ready for some unconventional surprises.

10. "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"

Heh, the advertisements weren't kidding when they called this "the feel bad movie of Christmas."

While I thought it was a bit too long and some of the acting I didn't enjoy, there was enough about this film to make it No. 10.

Namely David Fincher. The look of this film was amazing. There is this depraved sense of beautiful here. Some parts you couldn't take your eyes off of (and one scene you needed to...)

This film isn't for everyone, but if you can deal with an extremely tough subject matter then there's something you're bound to enjoy in here.

9. "We Bought a Zoo"

If there was a polar opposite in tone to "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," it would be this film.

I caught an early sneak preview of this film with my mom and we both loved it. Not only is it a great family dramedy, but kind of a sweet romance too.

And if you love animals, even better.

I truly love when I can walk out of a theater smiling from ear to ear and this film did it. I kind of even wanted to quit my job in journalism and run a zoo.

Matt Damon is fantastic as usual. But, the shining star of this film was the young daughter played by Maggie Elizabeth Jones. Director Cameron Crowe is known for getting great performances out of kids and they hit a home run here. She is cute in the entire film. Dramatic parts? Right on target.

There is one scene where the family is still grieving over the death of the mother and their next door neighbor is having a party. The little girl goes to Damon and says "Their happy is too loud." A little heartbreaking to watch her deliver the line.

She also delivers the best line of the film perfectly (to the nasty zoo inspector): "You know, everybody here thinks you're a dick. I don't know what that means, but I don't think that."

Best movies of 2011: Nos. 10 & 9 (Dan)

Editor's note: To coincide with the Oscars on Sunday the Inscaped staff are posting their lists of the best movies of 2011.

Unlike other best of lists you won't see a bunch of pretentious movies you've never heard of. We like to focus on films that the general public actually sees. With that in mind get ready for some unconventional surprises.

10. "Horrible Bosses"

This will be debated. More than any other movie on this list, this is a pick that is purely out of my own personal taste. Which really just means that Tim may call me insane. But hear me out!

"Horrible Bosses" starts off as a loosely-fitted film that takes three ordinary Joes with... HORRIBLE BOSSES. Get it? That's the movie name.

But like an amateur pilot taking to the cockpit of a passenger plane and landing it safely, the three leads make this movie something more than just another casual brofilm. It's actually an enduring tale of losers finally taking control. Whether or not that is a good thing is decided in the plot.

Now here's my chance to rave about Charlie Day. If you don't know him, it's not a surprise. He mostly does his work on "It's Always Sunny In Philidelphia" on FX. But Day may be one of the best underrated actors of our generation. He has the voice of a perpetual clown. He can read you the morning news and you'd be chuckling. As a physical comedian, all it takes is him kicking open a door and yelling "WILDCARD, BITCHES!" to make you double over.

So when Day treads known ground of the dolt who accidentally snorts coke, you don't expect much. BUT... When you see him coked out, alone in a car in the middle of the night on a dark street, passionately singing The Ting Tings "That's Not My Name," how can you NOT enjoy yourself??

Maybe you won't like "Horrible Bosses." But if you can forgive a flimsy premise and enjoy comedians doing good work, you'll walk away with some great laughs.

9. "Rango"

Full disclosure: I love a good animated movie. And the last decade has been good eating for me! Animated features are maybe the most hit and miss medium in film imaginable. So when you see a cartoon where you forget it's a cartoon (a la "The Incredibles," "Up," "Tangled"), it means you're watching a great movie.

Rango is a big hit that way; halfway through the story of a chameleon who wants to strike it big and ends up in over his head when he stumbles into a high-tension Western, you forget that it's just a bunch of lines and colors. You want to see Rango be a hero as much as you feel a little terrified of Rattlesnake Jake (Bill Nighy).

If "Rango" was a live action western-comedy, it would have made a much bigger splash. But let your inner child out and go enjoy yourself a good ol' lizard shootout!

Best movies of 2011: Nos. 10 & 9 (Stephanie)

Editor's note: To coincide with the Oscars on Sunday the Inscaped staff are posting their lists of the best movies of 2011.

Unlike other best of lists you won't see a bunch of pretentious movies you've never heard of. We like to focus on films that the general public actually sees. With that in mind get ready for some unconventional surprises.


10. "Larry Crowne" - Both Tim and I enjoyed this fun comedy about a man starting over from scratch after he is laid off from his retail management job. Tom Hanks plays the title character, bringing the everyman charm that has made him so popular. Julia Roberts is one of his college professors who of course becomes his love interest.

What made the movie so fun was the eccentric cast of supporting characters including Cedric the Entertainer, Taraji P. Henson, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Wilmer Valderrama and George Takei. The film had a real life quality that made the story more believable. This movie was endlessly charming and genuinely fun to watch.

9. "Paul" - My love for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is well documented, so it's no surprise that their alien comedy made the list. What really drew me into this movie was the idea of two nerds leaving Comic-Con and discovering an alien on their road trip across America. Because Pegg and Frost are real life nerds, the film was a love letter to nerd culture with appearances from Sigourney Weaver and Steven Spielberg and jokes about Comic-Con, "X-Files," and "ET." The ridiculously funny supporting cast of Kristen Wiig, Jason Bateman and Seth Rogen didn't hurt either.

Don't force me into 3-D

It really annoys me when i'm forced into a corner doing something I love.

Case in point: I was going to see "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" this weekend. It's just too bad my local theater didn't really want me to.

There were exactly two showings of the film not in 3-D. There was no way in heck I was going to pay $13 to see it. My theater is normally expensive ($9.50 matinees) so I was even debating just seeing it in general.

But, there my local theater (super close to my house) decided to screen more 3-D versions of the film instead. I get it, the film probably sucks. But to only have 2:30 and 7:30 p.m. showings?

So basically I had one shot to catch a matinee instead of every other film playing, which had 3-4. Stephanie even caught a 10 a.m. showing of "This Means War" at a different theater.

I know theaters need to make money. And it's especially hard with all these crappy movies coming out lately, but did they really make more money by forcing people to watch it in 3-D instead?

Or did people like me just not see it?

Great Ideas podcast No. 4!

Hello, friends!

"Great Ideas" is a (FREE) podcast run by myself (Hi, I'm Daniel. You may know me from some work I do around here including the infamous massive parenthetical.) and Sasha, my sidekick. (And Anthony our mild-mannered, eccentric producer.)

We discuss the issues of the day including: Death, the apocalypse, Madonna, aliens, movies... you know, stuff you find in your uncle's attic.

THIS WEEK: Sasha skips town, so Producer Anthony sits in to discuss drug use, the awkward discovery of "special" files on computers, iced cream and DEATH. Whatta downer, no?

Are you sitting in front of your computer right now saying "Hey, I'm digging what this socially maladjusted chatterbox is saying?"

Then you should do the following:

1. Visit the GREAT IDEAS website
2. Choose an episode. Don't worry. There's plenty to to be had.
3. In the blog post, click the orange link.
4. On the next page, hit the green download button.
5. PLEASE ENJOY!

OR

Use this link to go straight to step 4:

http://www.mediafire.com/?1p9tj1c3jnxtraj

We're growing in fanbase, quality and entertainment, so get in on the ground floor so when we're big news, you can be the snob that hates us for going mainstream!!!

(We also enjoy whale pictures.)

-Daniel

A $250 million (or more) mistake?

If you could see a bomb about to go off, would you run away?

Obviously the answer is yes. Other than someone with a death wish, who would want to do something like that?

Disney might have a situation like that coming soon with "John Carter." And if the story on Deadline today is to be believed, it's going to be bad.

As I was reading the article earlier today I kept rolling my eyes, because it's something Stephanie and I have been talking about for months.

At the D23 convention in August, I was treated to a serious hard sell of the film during the movies panel. While every other film had just enough time to bring out a star, answer a question or two and show a clip (some didn't even get that), "John Carter" got the royal treatment of a lot of questions, a lot of background and many, many clips.

Stephanie's blunt reaction to me telling her this at the time was "they have to make that money back!"

And it's a lot of money. The budget is reportedly anywhere from $200-$300, and that's not even including marketing.

That is a massive amount of money for a movie based on source material that is not widely known to the general public. I'm not bashing author Edgar Rice Burroughs, but not a lot of people know about "The Princess of Mars" series. They started getting published almost a 100 years ago.

And nothing against Taylor Kitsch, but it's a lot of money to throw at a basically unknown guy. And yes, I'm aware he was in "Wolverine" and "Friday Night Lights," but does "Wolverine" really count? Just as Dan about Kitsch.

Let me be clear: I personally don't hate this film or anything, I just call it like I see it. The budget is just way too high. Yes, some of the effects look cool, but so do the effects in "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance."

Could I be wrong? Heck yeah. I didn't think "Avatar" would make any money.

Fun fact: The last version of this film was in 2009 and it starred Antonio Sabado Jr. and Traci Lords... yes, THAT Traci Lords.

THE GREAT DEBATES: HOW TO FIGHT IN THE NEW 1800s

HATER

"A term used by others, usually being suburban "gangsters", whose lives are absolutely and undeniably defined by what others think. These people "rumble" often and think of themselves as original and/or indestructible. People that use the term "haters" are the lowest stage of the evolutionary scale. They bleed the fastest and have thought processes similar to that of a mentally underdeveloped cat." -Urban Dictionary

Good evening, class. The lesson today will consist of proper composure, maturity and eloquence when facing a debate.

Let me begin with a quick history, if you'll allow me.

In 1804, Vice President Andrew Burr shot and fatally wounded Alexander Hamilton, the first US Secretary of the Treasury. The duel that spurred legend was held in response to years of verbal public jabbing on both sides.

At that time, the Northern United States were outlawing such barbaric practices in hopes that all people could learn to use their words in such a way that they could not only express their feelings, but do so in a respectful way.

208 years later, in the age of the Internet and the Beiber (Beeber? Seeger?Beuber? I don't know...), the collective conversation of ideas can be paraphrased as this:



All of the passion of a political duel, but it lacks humanity, no?

Which brings us to this lesson. In this lesson, we will learn to accept dissent, analyze it, and respond in a way that would be more so what Mrs. Hamilton was probably hoping for.

Our subject this evening will be movies, prominently "Sucker-Punch," the all-sizzle, no-steak mindless film made for the adoration of incessant tweens.

Now I hear the rumblings in the back of the class. When people--in this case critics, which are sometimes barely human-- make statements like the one I just made, they are commonly answered in two ways. If the reply is in agreement, it's a simple matter of praise. However, if the reply is in dissent you will see all manner of juvenile retorts. Such as this:

CRITIC: "The movie spins out of control, until it collapses in a heap, senseless."

READER RESPONSE: "Well apparently you dont get the message of this movie its not just about fighting!!! Maybe somday sense will smack you in the face and you'll kno how much of a amazing movie this is!"

The replier made their point, but at the cost of any possible respect to be earned. If the movie is "not just about fighting," perhaps the reader should volunteer what other elements the critic had missed. Such an answer, if done properly would debase the critic's talent and earn the replier a valid point.

The other comment is rather hostile. To say the critic needs to be physically assaulted by sense itself is not only improbable; it's also being ranted in a statement riddled with misspellings and grammatical errors. Sense seems to have left the debate before it began!

Let's try another:

CRITIC: "I'm glad I saw Twilight for one reason: It made the phrase 'jump the shark' obsolete, to be potentially replaced with 'The vampires are playing baseball.'"

READER: "your an idiot. i can admit that it wasnt an unbelievable film but this film was made for fans of the books (mostly teenage girls) and not old, cranky, male critics! the cast and crew continuously said 'oh, well were doing this for you guys, the fans of the books.'"

A rather creative hit from the critic, leaving the response falling short. Rule of thumb, everyone: to make a valid argument, it's a battle of wits; if you don't stack up, shut up. Write that down, that's on the test.

Also, the reader made two major mistakes. First, they made an excluding statement. Saying things like "X is just not for you!" or "You just don't get Y!" than you are limiting the art in question. Major motion pictures, in this instance, are made for the general public. Corporate studios don't give millions of dollars to only entertain SOME people. So if someone "just doesn't get it," then in a certain way what you're defending has failed.

Second, the reader made it an issue of sex. Suddenly, the debate isn't about the merit of the work, it's a matter of only a certain sex or creed or mindset can enjoy it. Maybe that makes it special, but again, it leaves it open to more scrutiny. By saying something can only be enjoyed by a certain group, you're fortifying the fact that the person you arre debating is correct in not liking it. This is more of a retreating tactic. If you resort to either of these two arguments, you are waving a white flag.

The idea of debate is to respectfully state sides of an argument until you reach an understanding of each other, even if you don't agree. When someone says something that you don't agree with, learn to use the English language to your advantage. It's simple to make a blanket statement and then retreat from the discussion. It's common these days; the Internet is slowly breeding a generation of cowards and cynics who will not be able to argue about something without it leading to divorce, violence or murder.

It is impossible to distance yourself from the Internet, so the best thing you can do is take part in a discussion. If someone you know makes a statement you disagree with, start here: State your belief, state why you believe it, ask questions about their statement IN ORDER TO GAIN CLARITY. No need for barbed comments, insulting statements or name calling.

One of the greatest gifts is the gift of communication. It's right up there with Lemon Ginger tea and the wheel. And the last thing we need is a generation of people who can't debate things without throwing hot tea at each other and running our pets over.

Only happy when they make a comeback!

By the time I have written this little blog post I have replayed the one minute snippet of Garbage's new single "I hate love," at least six times.

I regret nothing.

First off, I'm glad they are back. The four piece band that is a collection of seasoned professionals in the music industry. It's always surprising that people want to dismiss that fact as if that makes Garbage less authentic or relevant by some really sheer and logically inconclusive moot point. The fact of the matter is, that garbage is an amazing band that knows how to craft dark pop with little or no room for marginal error.

After the last album, the return to rock, brick-and-mortar "Bleed Like Me," Garbage was doing a more organic type of sound: crunchy guitars, Shirley Manson's seductive yet strong vocals and Butch Vig's signature I-made-the-90s production. Yet, so far the snippet of "I Hate Love" is promising. Dancey and yet mildly morose, "I Hate Love" is picking up where in theory, where the band's second album the aptly named "Version 2.0" left off. Bring on the flaw-free production!

"Not Your Kind of People" is slated for a May release. But everyone is excited to have them back, in under a minute tickets for the band's LA show sold out.

Bon Iver's win is the Grammy's big loss

Justin Vernon, frontman for indie folk group "Bon Iver," accepted the Grammy for best new band tonight. Not only was it a big win for the band, it was a big loss for the Grammys themselves.

Bon Iver released their first album in 2007. In case you need a hand with this, the current year is 2012.

That's five years.

Maybe the people who make such decisions define "New Artist" as "the band you heard your grandson talking about." Or maybe you aren't considered new until you are a No. 2 Billboard success. Much like the Academy Awards, this is outing the Grammys as nothing more than a commercial reach-around for the people who keep them rich.

I want to make one thing clear: I enjoy Bon Iver. This isn't a matter of me hating on the band; it's simply an amazing showing of where modern entertainment stands: the best movies, music, etc. doesn't matter to the industry. It all boils down to who does the best job of keeping them in business.

While people are Occupying Wall Street, maybe we should have an Occupy Universal movement and try to give art back to the people who enjoy it more than money.

'Walking Dead' episode 2.8 'Nebraska' recap

What a great way to start the second half of Season 2! A pick axe to a zombie head that looks like it was made for 3-D.

"Nebraska" was a tense goodbye to the possibility of hope for the characters on the show. While the obvious metaphor for the pursuit of hope was the search for Sophia, there was a lot of deeper soul searching in this episode: Dale and Shane continued their moral standoff, Shane showed some guilt (or at least some compassion) to Carol and Rick begins to realize the person he must become in order to protect his family.

Speaking of the Grimes family, they've emerged as the First Family of the apocalypse. Which is amusingly accurate at times: Rick the President, trying to keep peace when war is on their porch; Lori the First Lady, doing everything she can to heal people after "Barnegeddon" and their son Carl, who has one of the most interesting developments in the show so far.

Carl has been through a lot. He accepted his father's death. He attached to Shane, who is slowly turning into the Mad Max of murder. Carl's father then miraculously reappeared. Then Carl was shot while enjoying a deer encounter. Then he had to see his father shoot his girlfriend (or friend that is a girl). Sounds like a pretty nasty coming-of-age, no?

But in this episode, it's more about the repercussions of taking actions to survive. Whether it's moral or not, everyone would have to side with Shane in his death romp, shooting a barn full of undead former family members. But it then becomes Rick's duty to clean up his mess, leading to the most intense Mexican standoff in TV history: The Rick/Hershel/Mystery Guest showdown.

It starts off as two fathers deciding which is more important: a harsh, desolate reality? Or suffering for their family? They overall consensus of the moment seems to be that they need to take charge to salvage what they can from two emotionally wrecked families.

But it's not "Walking Dead" without a heavy dose of "Oh S#*%!" and "Oh no!"

Before the group can get back to their farmhouse, two unfamiliar faces stumble into the bar. In the zombie apocalypse, this can only mean bad things. After a simple talk and a quick urination on the floor (Philly people! geez...), it becomes apparent things have gone from bad to worse when the new faces want in on the farmhouse. So Rick makes the decision that needs to be made: a headshot on the leader and a few well placed shots on the urinator.

This move was interesting simply because it takes away Shane's main bargaining piece. Since day one, Shane has been "The Man of Action," the one who will make hard decisions. But now Rick has put down a young girl who has turned and now he has killed two men who tried to push in on his land. Moving forward, it will be interesting to see what happens when Shane is no longer the only badass.

Now for comic book fans, we know what this could mean...

POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!




SERIOUSLY!!!!!



So this is eerily similar to the beginning of the Governor storyline. Which, if true, means there is some HEINOUS material on the way. So much so that all of us who read ahead into the darker parts of the story have to wonder: How the hell will they pull this off? 80% of the series coming up will be unairable! Will they stay remotely true and be the first show to have straight up torture on television? Will they ease the brakes on it and give us a watered down version? Or will they skip the storyline altogether?

Give me your thoughts below!!!

PS: Dave Navarro was on TheTalking Dead. Note to prospective stars: If you're into a show and get a chance to discuss it on TV with a producer from the show, try not to complain like a jerk the whole time.

Grammys crown new stars and salute lost ones

There was no getting around it, last night's 54th Annual Grammys Awards would be held with a heavy heart. Host LL Cool J set the tone beautifully when he opened the show with a prayer declaring "we've had a death in the family."

However, it was when he said that music would help everyone through the tragedy of Whitney Houston's passing and decided we should all celebrate music, that he made it ok to relax and enjoy the rest of the show.

While it was no secret that Adele would win everything, it was still great to see it happen. It's rare that the best album of the year actually wins album of the year.

What everyone was waiting for was her return to the stage following career threatening vocal surgery. However, she stole the show with a spectacular rendition of her still awesome hit "Rolling in the Deep."



Adele ended up going six for six, including album, song and record of the year. As popular as she was before, last night's triumph has launched her into superstar status.

The night's other big winners were the Foo Fighters, who walked away with five of the six awards they were nominated for. Their only loss came in the album of the year category.

Other highlights included a fun, gold lame and pompadoured Bruno Mars trying to get the audience off their "rich asses," a very classy and understated Tony Bennett/Carrie Underwood duet and an extremely moving tribute to Etta James by Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt.

However, the only moment that mattered was Jennifer Hudson's emotional rendition of "I Will Always Love You" to celebrate and remember Whitney Houston.



Hudson delivered a perfect simple version of the Whitney classic, allowing fans and friends alike to engage in a cathartic relief of their grief.

It was a moment that won't soon be forgotten as Whitney took over the Grammy stage one final time.

Whitney Houston dead at age 48

On the eve of music's biggest night the industry has suffered one of it's biggest losses with the death of Whitney Houston at just 48 years old.

Houston became an international superstar in the 1980s following hits like "The Greatest Love of All," "How Will I Know" and "Saving All My Love For You." Her powerhouse vocals and girl next door appeal made her an instant success.

From the mid 80s to the late 90s Houston was the queen of R&B and pop radio with hits like "I Wanna Dance With Somebody," "Didn't We Almost Have It All," "Where Do Broken Hearts Go," "He's All the Man I Need" and "I'm Your Baby Tonight."



However, it was the film "The Bodyguard" and its accompanying soundtrack that made her a legend. The opening 45 seconds of "I Will Always Love You" display a level of tone and control that no singer can match. Couple that with the breathtaking belt of "I Have Nothing" and the album was destined to be huge.

Perhaps her greatest moment came in 1991 at Super Bowl 25 when she performed what is widely considered as the best version of "The Star Spangled Banner" just when the US had entered into the first Gulf War. The rendition was so beloved that it was released as a single and became a No. 1 hit and is still talked about to this day.



In recent years Houston became more well known for her personal struggles with drugs and alcohol, and her tumultuous marriage with Bobby Brown, but she was attempting a comeback that will sadly never come to fruition

In the coming days there will be a lot of discussion about Houston's legacy, however, those answers can be found in the voices of Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, Charice, Celine Dion and every "American Idol" or "The Voice" contestant who tries to conquer a Whitney song.

"I Will Always Love You" indeed.

'Attack The Block' hits every target (with a Super Soaker)

"Attack The Block" may not have been widely released in the United States, but it easily deserved it. In a day when people complain over refried movies more than their iPhones, (Rich People Problems!) a movie like this is an amazing cold shower of freshness.

Written and directed by Joe Cornish ("The Adventures of Tintin"), Attack The Block follows a gang of teen punks as they face an alien invasion in South London. While the concept may seem simple, the art direction and brilliant young actors make it a film you haven't seen before. Period.

One of the greatest elements in the story is the fact that their are no real heroes. John Boyega, our lead character and the one person you'd assume to be your hero alien hunter, starts the movie in a very criminal way that doesn't get very apolgetic. Which is a great thing! The story continues to build a tense relationship between Boyega and one of his potential victims, with very little common ground to be found.

I imagine this film to be "Super 8" meets "Die Hard" with some cool aliens. The "Super 8" part being all of the great actors ranging from 8 to 16 year olds. Movies with young actors have the unique ability of taking what would otherwise be a rather mature movie and adding fresh elements and sentimental feel.

While it may be too late to see "Attack The Block" on the big screen, it's an A+ that's definately worth seeing.

'The River' puts it all out there... unfortunately

......sigh....

Yeah, I'm one of those people who is kind of obsessed with the "found footage" craze. And yes, I'm quite comfortable admitting it. It's done wonders resurrecting the horror genre, and it's teaching our cynical generation to just enjoy something for an hour and a half before hating it. (see www.greatideaspodcast.com, Episode 2) Shameless plug. Did you think I'm above it? Well, I'm not.

And all of the progress that "found footage" has made recently- the "Paranormal Activity" franchise, "Quarantine" (a remake of a foreign film, "REC." The sequel to that, "REC 2," is one of my top five horror movies of all time), etc.- is dashed and reduced by ABC's "The River."

For starters, taking the found footage and applying it to the long term potential of a television program is like giving a toddler the New York Times and asking them to summarize the business section for you. It's just not the place for such a request. Audiences will lose faith in a novel idea faster than the toddler will use the newspaper for confetti.

The duality of this two-hour train wreck will be it's undoing. The acting pulled you in, in a "maybe it'll be like Lost and spawn a couple of careers" sort of way. But the moment you're in, you start absorbing elements: a lost father, a misguided son, a guilt-filled wife, a dedicated film crew of friends.

Sounds like a solid start? Well then let's flip the coin and check this plot unfold. We've got a scary bat-creature, possession, ghosts, a mysterious tribe of locals, magic, dolls in the trees (WTF???), dolls in trees watching people, so on and so forth to the point where you'll ask yourself aloud "What the hell is all of this?"

It seems that the writers of the show have a ton of ideas, but they decided to take the un-"Lost" route and throw them all at you at once, as if they know time's not on their side.

By the end of the two hour debut, I had only one question: why would I want to watch this again? Week to week, do I want to put so much effort into deciphering what is and isn't important in all of the plot points being hurled at me?

At least MY side of the issue is simple: NO.

Why M.I.A. should not apologize

Editor's Note: Hey friends, it's Stephanie. I wanted to introduce everyone to the magic that is Corinne Love. Corinne is an original member of the Inscaped family (you can even see her in some of the earliest shows with Tim and Dan.) She's a fantastic writer with a wicked take on pop culture and we're super excited to have her back in the fold. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, Corinne Love!



Apparently, M.I.A has more people not feeling her latest rebel rousing ways. The Sri Lankan rapper recently performed with Madonna, Nicki Minaj, Cee-Lo and oh yeah those guys from LMAO for a crowded Super Bowl performance. And while many people were eagerly awaiting that the Queen of Pop, Esther, Madge would do something shocking the only thing that shocked us was Madonna's choice of wardrobe.

But this performance could not go without something that had people freeze-framing their DVR's. Somewhere in the flux of the fifteen minute halftime show between the gladiator cheerleaders and whatnot, M.I.A straddled some empty area space and gave viewers what they were expecting the whole time. Her middle finger. Those used to her brash behavior were hardly surprised but it seems that many viewers sat at home clutching their Doritos in a moment of bewilderment. Somehow that handy delay system designed to keep such events from reaching audiences en masse failed to work. Ha.Ha.Ha.

Now, M.I.A. is facing legal problems due to the whole fall out. As reported in a Yahoo! Sports column, NFL spokesman Greg Aiello stated "“We do have [safeguards regarding artist conduct] written into their contracts." Safeguards that keeping those at home from flashes of the middle finger.

Despite the fact that the incident barely lasted long enough to be a matter of national security, it has been rumored that through a source close to M.I.A. that she was indeed "incredibly sorry" as quoted by the British newspaper The Sun.

Eh? Sorry?

Why would she be sorry? She obviously meant to do it. In Madonna's video "Give me all your luvin," in a Marilyn blonde wig she is *almost* doing the same thing. One look at M.I.A.'s most recent video for "Bad Girls," with her doing donuts in the Moroccan desert amidst other women in protest of Saudi Arabia's laws regarding women and driving it's very obvious she does not care what people think.

A sorry just seems like a shrug off to the people who were expecting the Super Bowl to be fine family entertainment. If NBC is not receiving complaints then no harm no foul.

The more critical are saying that M.I.A.'s gesture was a way for Madonna to inadvertently shock viewers without risking the fall out. Go figure. The fact remains M.I.A. still has an album on the horizon and a little press never hurt sales.

You know where we'll be May 4

Even now, three days later I still get chills watching that trailer.

To say I've been waiting decades for this movie is an understatement. I remember playing Avengers when I was a small kid. I loved Hawkeye and Ant-Man (or whatever his codename was at that specific time, so many).

I've purposefully avoided all spoilers for this film, so far. I almost didn't watch the Super Bowl footage, but years of dreaming of this movie being made was too powerful.

I really wish I would have recorded my reaction to watching it. It would have been hilarious for some and maybe sad for others.

Nerd meltdown? Big time. At the end, which I already sort of saw at D23, my hands were shaking and there were real tears in my eyes.

Make fun of me, I don't care. Have you ever wanted something for so long that you never thought you'd see it? I remember, as a kid, my friends and I would come up with dream casts for comic films. Back then it was fun, but also a pipe dream of sorts.

We never thought something like this could happen. Heck, I was watching "Iron Man" today and during the after-credits scene I still don't believe it's real.

But, is it like a bad prom? All my life I heard about how awesome proms were, then I get around to mine and it sucked pretty hard. I waited 18 years for that?

Then again, if I'd seen a horrible trailer for what my prom was going to be I would have avoided it. Everything I've seen so far from "Avengers" I have loved.

And I've been there almost every step of the way from Comic-Con, to D23 to now.

May 4 is coming soon and finally my childhood dreams will become a reality. Remember what Willy Wonka told Charlie?

"But Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted... he lived happily ever after."

'The Amazing Spiderman' preview: redemption?

The full-length trailer was released for the new Spiderman reboot recently, and the question that has plagued it since it was a rumor remains: will this reboot redeem the jazz-dancing, emo-haired, cookie-demanding Peter Parker of Sam Raimi's infamous take?

Let's rundown the previous incarnation, then take a look at the new version:

SAM RAIMI'S VISION:

The original Sam Raimi Spiderman (2002) was an instant hit. A blockbuster unlike any other, breaking records while people of all ages flocked in for the first Hollywood-quality take. The feel was what you'd expect from Raimi: all the style of Michael Bay, substituting mindless explosions with stark, vibrant images.

Spiderman definately warranted a sequel and the one that was produced is one of the rare movies that surpasses it's predecessor. Spiderman 2 delved deeper into Peter Parker's struggle as a young adult; the pursuit of big dreams, the priority of those you love, and facing up to your heroes. The sequel definately set up the Spiderman franchise as the film to beat in the superhero genre (pre-"Dark Knight").

Then, there was Spiderman 3. This time, Raimi went bold with three villains and a needlessly heavy soap opera script including memory loss, love triangles and long lost murderers. But all of that fades to the background when the symbiote suit turns mild-mannered Peter Parker into hipster-dousche Peter Parker.

When it came to the issue of Parker's identity crisis leading to the creation of his moral counterweight, Venom, Raimi took depth out back and shot it. Five times.

The New (And Amazing) Spiderman:

For four years, "Spiderman" has hung in limbo, only rumored to be circulating as a reboot to correct the wrongs that had been done. Well, today's the day to discover that good times may be back.

While Andrew Garfield has had some minor success in the past, he really came to light in "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus," made famous as Heath Ledger's final movie. Garfield made an impact as the simple, unrequited lover of the lusted-after Valentina. From there, he had a breakout role in "The Social Network," playing opposite Jesse Eisenberg in the brilliant David Fincher flick.

It only seems right to have him as Peter Parker; a lanky kid, maybe a little akward and out of his element, but still a bit of mysterious edge. Right away, you know it's going to be a much more realistic movie.

As far as other cast members go, I'd say it's hit and miss. The one that hits me as an AWESOME choice is Denis Leary as George Stacy. Maybe a bit of a type cast, but who better to chace after a super nerd than a talented bully?

Some other notables, of course, are Emma Stone (Gwen Stacy, Parker's love interest), Martin Sheen (Ben Parker, Peter's grandfather) and Rhys Ifans (as Dr. Connors/The Lizard).

Overall, on paper the movie looks like it's going to be what the first batch of films should have been: a bit more of a moody take on a loner who takes the law into his own hands.

PREVIEW TIME!



Does it take a few notes off "The Dark Knight," aiming for a grungier cityscape? Maybe. but this is the Peter Parker that should exist. He's not a mousy guy (a la Tobey Maguire), he's just a lonely kid. But, as you can see, he's got the wise cracks down, he's got the attitude of Spiderman, and it's going to be fun.

If you ask this lowly superhero nerd, "The Amazing Spiderman" pays back all debts in full.

'The Woman In Black' succeeds where its counterparts fail

Last night was a momentous night for me. Not only did I rewatch "Super 8" (a surprisingly underrated throwback movie), I went to a late showing of "The Woman In Black," the first quality horror movie in the past few years (AT LEAST) and possibly one of the best I've seen.

But let's start from the top in this breakdown:

Daniel Radcliffe has been the butt of jokes since he started the Harry Potter franchise. To distance himself from such a prolific role, what better way than to disappear to a haunted marsh, desolate of magic, but full of evil atmosphere?

Much has been made of how much Radcliffe would have riding on his first major role since "the boy who lived," and I'd have to say he surpassed all expectations. In a film that doesn't spend a lot of time regaling the audience with back story, Radcliffe forms an instant bond with the viewers by simply emoting what we all feel: when we are desperate, we seem courageous; when we are fearless, it's only skin deep. Radcliffe wins us over by being as steadfast as your everyday horror hero but also very human about his decisions to remain in the thick of things. By the time our hero is in danger, we aren't just afraid of what will happen, we're afraid of what will happen to him.

The catalyst that brings all elements of the movie together is in the hands of James Watkins, whose past credits (including "The Descent 2") don't exactly promote the wonderful work he's done here. The atmosphere of the movie is done in a way that it almost feels like a dream you've had before. That in itself would be engaging, but the level of detail he adds to that feeling- the unsettling villagers, the wooden creaks, and of course the vaguely menancing spirit- forces you into a world where nothing seen or heard is ever doubted.

The story itself is based off of the novel by Susan Hill. It was done as a TV movie in 1989 and adapted this go-around, notably, by Jane Goldman ("X-Men: First Class," "Kick-Ass"). Goldman brought to this what she subtly brought to both of those films: a no-nonsense attitude that refuses to insult the movie-goers intelligence.

It's a simple premise really: a man in debt goes to a spooky house amidst rumors of a haunting presence. The same thing we may have heard one hundred times, but this movie does what others don't have the nerve to do: NOTHING. You won't see any of the conventions that have become commonplace, and the ones you do see will be crafted elegantly enough to be forgivable.

To be fair, the amount of jump scares is almost infuriating, but only because the atmosphere pulls you under a blanket of cold, dark dread.

But all in all, when you see a faint figure down a hallway, or feel a spectre ominously gliding towards our likeable hero, you will forget for a moment that you've heard it all before. You'll be listening to your childhood friend telling you a grim tale. Only this one will be full of visuals that you didn't (or didn't want to) imagine.

Getting locked up with 'Alcatraz'

JJ Abrams just knows how to get to me.

Yes, the director and creator of shows like "Lost" and "Alias" has a free pass from me, but there are always limits to that.

Abrams' lifetime pass is good for a full episode of a new show of his. While I thought "Person of Interest" was a good show, it wasn't enough to keep me interested week after week.

Now "Alcatraz" on the other hand...

The show's premise is that the island jail of Alcatraz never closed, everyone inside vanished and it was covered up. Now cut to the present and these missing people are now showing up. And they haven't aged a day.

Before we get any further, yes it's kind of like "The 4400." The people here also has no memory of where they have been.

It's also like "Lost" in a sense that each episode flashes back and forth from the time on Alcatraz to the present. Each new episode follows a returning prisoner or guard and a special group tracking them down.

Jorge Garcia from "Lost" plays an Alcatraz expert and comic shop owner who provides valuable info on each returnee.

Sarah Jones plays a San Francisco cop who stumbles into the mystery when her grandfather (an Alcatraz prisoner) kills her partner.

Rounding out the team is the super creepy Sam Neill ("Jurassic Park") and Parminder Nagra ("ER").

Here's what I like about it: It's "Lost" enough to a point where it can be mysterious but not annoying. Yes, there are giant mysteries to solve, but they do answer a lot of questions so far in the first few episodes.

Obviously the how and why are they back won't be answered right away. But, we get enough breadcrumbs to keep us coming back.

The chemistry is great, especially Jones and Garcia. It's very much a ragtag partnership, but it works on so many levels.

Another interesting side note is how they explore each returnee. While we don't know their motivations (some come back to steal things, others kill), we do see how horrible their lives were on Alcatraz.

The show does a great job walking the line between explaining why they're bad and almost making the audience feel sorry for them. The guards and warden are a-holes. Above and beyond "just doing their job."

This week brings the first guard coming back, which should bring a new interesting take to the show.

Check it out.

"Alcatraz" airs Monday nights at 9 p.m. on Fox.

Best of the Super Bowl ads

At this point the big game has become as much about the commercials as the actual game being played. With that un mind here are my choices for the best of a mediocre bunch.

1. Clint Eastwood for Chrysler



2. Samsung brings back The Darkness




3. Doritos Man's Best Friend



4. Metlife with every cartoon character



5. "The Voice" with a surprise guest